I came across this review of a recipe on Wegmans’ website:
Then please tell me, o all knowing, all powerful, Denise E. from White Haven, Pennsylvania why the fuck you felt the need to rate something that you, in your own insane babblings, “cannot rate?”
Fine, you don’t eat red meat. Good for you. You’re less likely to die of heart disease, or have a stroke, or get morbidly obese. Hooray for you. But you know what, some of us do eat red meat, and the fact that we do is none of your fucking business. Got that?
This recipe is for one of my favorite Italian dishes growing up: Beef Braciola. (The word is prounounced “brazhole” for you medigans out there.) Basically, it’s beef stuffed with more beef. It’s delicious, too. I’m sorry that this is one pleasure you’ll never enjoy. It’s sort of like if Zeus himself came down from the firmament and had eighteen hours of wild sex with your tastebuds, it’s that good.
Maybe there’s something in red meat that dampens the “asshole” portion of your brain, because 95% of the most annoying people I’ve ever met have been vegetarians. And that figure doesn’t include Hitler because he would really fuck up the curve, so it’s cutting you militant vegitarians a ton of slack. Not all vegetarians are assholes, mind you, not even most of the vegetarians I’ve met, but all militant vegetarians are assholes. And you, Denise E. from White Haven, Pennsylvania, are obviously positioning yourself for a shot at being Big Chief Crazy Vegetarian Asshole, ruling for all eternity with an iron fist with which you will crush all animal products.
I have one friend who won’t eat pork not because of religious or health reasons but because she cried when she watched Babe and keeps picturing her bacon talking to her. Yet she doesn’t wince when I order a full rack of barbecued ribs, or her sister gets a bacon cheeseburger. She made her choice, and we respect that. Likewise, she respects our decisions to eat whatever the fuck we want as long as we’re willing to live with the possible health consequences.
You don’t like red meat. Fine. But the presence of red meat does not lessen the quality of a recipe. That’s what rating something on a website “1 star” suggests; it’s a way for users to warn others “this recipe is shit - don’t try it.” This recipe isn’t shit. Or maybe it is, I don’t know, I haven’t tried this particular recipe yet, but if it is you have no way of knowing if it is or not because you’ve never tried it.
The next time you see a recipe that has something you don’t eat in it, maybe you should just page past that recipe and shut up. It’s people like you that other people invent dirty misogynistic terms for. Shut up and go away and let me do my grocery shopping in peace.
